Daljinder Kaur, 72, and Mohinder Gill, 79, are residents of Amritsar, India. After three prior unsuccessful pregnancies, Daljinder Kaur gave up on having children. “Everyone was staring at me as I walked down the street,” she claimed. They witnessed an ancient woman growing up, something they could not believe. Although their situation is painful, nothing can take away the happiness I felt while I was pregnant.
At 72, I’ve waited long enough, she continued. 1970 marked the year that Mohinder and I exchanged vows. Although it was arranged, the marriage was happy. I experienced three unsuccessful pregnancies after our wedding, all of which were tragic. Because we couldn’t have children, our neighbors and even some of our family members called us fools and suggested that my husband get remarried.
Thank goodness, he expressed his unconditional love for me and showed sympathy and support. But when I’m not a mother, I feel incredibly alone. My heart sank when I saw my older friends’ kids. I can manage it on certain days, but other days the pain is so severe that I am unable to leave the house. Mohinder and I made the decision to give up on trying for a child despite how I felt. Even three failed pregnancies are upsetting.
India, particularly in the 1970s and 1980s, didn’t have a lot of resources for assistance or counsel, so I accepted the fact that I would never be able to have children. Then, in 2012, I happened to catch a TV commercial for an IVF clinic called the National In vitro Reproduction and Neonatal Center in Haryana, northern India. I had never even heard of IVF before, but I urged Mohinder to try it, and he enthusiastically concurred.
I begged the doctor I met, who was reluctant due to my age and warned that becoming pregnant might endanger my life. He conducted the tests, and when the results were favorable, he concurred. We used donor eggs and sperm as I don’t have any eggs of my own. It costs little over £2,000 for each IVF, which is not inexpensive. We were financially secure since Mohinder owned land, but the therapy depleted all of our funds.
The first two tries, in 2013 and 2014, were unsuccessful. Then, 20 years after going through menopause, in July 2015, the doctor informed me that I was pregnant. Mohinder and I sobbed with happiness. I received advice from friends and family members that I shouldn’t be pregnant at my age, that I was too old to care for a newborn, and that I would pass away before my child reached adulthood. But I don’t pay them any attention. Whether or whether we are present, the baby will experience a lifetime of love. Of course I had my reservations. Although I’m not sure if my health would enable me to carry the child for nine months, I will do anything to have a child.
There are no difficulties and I like being pregnant. On April 19, our son Arman Singh was delivered through caesarean section and weighed 4 pounds, 4 ounces. The world’s greatest sensation is being able to hold him. I breastfeed, and like any new mother, I experience restless nights. I need physical therapy since my limited mobility has caused discomfort in my knee joint that dates back to my time in the military. But I wouldn’t alter a thing, and I know I’ll be present to see him develop. Our family feels whole in the end.
