A pregnant man has welcomed a baby girl after falling pregnant while transitioning, and says carrying the child helped him through the pandemic while the initial shock has given way to an immense love.
Ash Following a meeting with a man on Grindr, Patrick Schade, 28, who was two years into his transition, became pregnant in February 2020, despite the fact the health-care worker and Ph.D. student was taking male hormone blockers at the time, and thought that would prevent a pregnancy.
Ash, a mental health counselor and PhD student, discontinued hormone treatment after learning he was pregnant.
He met his now-husband Jordan, 28, a month after discovering he was pregnant. In October 2020, his daughter Ronan was born.
One-year-old Ronan is being raised by the couple, and Ash, who had top surgery to have his breasts removed after the birth, says he is delaying undergoing full gender reassignment surgery so they may have children kids.
A seahorse parent is a term used to describe a gestational parent who is transgender or non-binary. The term comes from seahorses, of which the male carry and birth their young.
Ash explained: “I was previously married to another man.” “Between 2019 and 2020, I struggled with my mental health as a result of going through a divorce.
“I ended up engaging in Grindr hook-ups and became pregnant inadvertently.
“It was a great sh0ck, but I fell in love with my bump and persevered throughout the pregnancy, despite my dysphoria and medical risks.”
“Ronan is my everything, I love her more than myself.”
Ash found the pregnancy difficult, often finding a lack of knowledgeable medical staff that understood his situation.
He said: “Nobody wanted to take my case when I first found out I was pregnant.
“I was such a high-risk case, with a lot of potential for the pregnancy to go awry.
“The medical team was excellent when I went into labor because they had already been briefed on my circumstances; nevertheless, they were later replaced by other staff members.”
“Seeing my hairy legs in the stirrups must have caught one of them off guard, as they said to me ‘maybe you should re-think your gender identity’.
“It may sound counter-intuitive, but giving birth felt like one of the most masculine things I have done.
“Bringing life into the world as a seahorse parent was incredible.”
Ash stated that he “felt out of place” in his body for “as long as he could remember” and was taken to conversion therapy as a youngster by his parents in the expectation that it would “cure” him.
“I concealed my B0obs and identified as a boy at school, going by the name Ash, and donned gothic black clothing to conceal my appearance,” he remembered.
“Until one day, when my mother, who wishes to remain anonymous, brought me to school dressed in a pink two-piece for picture day, and my instructor stated loudly that I was actually a girl named Ashley.”
“I went from popular to a nobody overnight, with my then girlfriend’s mum calling my mum to ‘keep that gay slur of a child away from my daughter’.
“I had an extremely bad upbringing and survived a suicide attempt because of the trauma and gender dysphoria I experienced.”
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Ash feared his mental health may take a turn for the worse when he discovered the pregnancy.
He added:“I was worried about how good of a parent I would be, and how others would view me.
“But my husband Jordan’s love was there for me throughout the entire process; he even helped me cut Ronan’s cord. Jordan has been by my side at every turn.
“I had all of my friends following my journey and checking in, as well as the support of the online gay and trans community and even the Satanic Temple of which I’m a member.”
As she becomes older, Ash is eager to share her birth story with Ronan.
When others approach him to inquire about whether Ronan’s mother is in the photo, he also takes pleasure in enlightening them.
He said: “I want to be honest and open with Ronan the whole way, and explain to her that sometimes trans men can have babies,” he continued
“She can hear me explain how I’m both her father and her mother. People frequently stop us while we are out and comment that her mother must be lovely, or if I’m with Jordan, they inquire as to where we adopted her.
“So it’s usually quite an interesting conversation to begin when I explain it all to them.”
